Just A Small Reflection..

Last year I brought in the new year with a little less celebrating and little more promise. I made a few resolutions to share with all my friends, and one special resolution that was just for me -my Secret resolution. I started making secret resolutions last year because although I've always had horrible luck with guys and sometimes do things that disappoint me, 2008 was just a new level of .....horror? I won't necessarily get into the details of it all, but I can say that something I never thought would happen did -twice. And the type of luck I was already familiar with really outdid itself.

So in 2009 there was:

-no red meat for 6 months (with the exception of Beef broth in my aunt's amazing, homemade Caldo, and Bacon broth in Fijoles ala Charra).

-read one book per month (the "horror" of 2008 brought A LOT of self-reflection that only made me harder on myself, and after being incredibly honest about the way everything was making me feel to one of my close friends he recommended that I start reading. He told me that when he felt depressed reading really helped him)

-be a more conscience shopper: i.e aim for "sweatshop free" apparel

How did my '09 resolutions go?

-I gave in in February. It all happened when I went home in mid-February and my mom, best friend and I decided to eat at a local Taqueria in town. BAD IDEA. Taquerias have NO idea what it is to be red-meat free.. and that's not a bad thing, this is my soul food we're talking about. The temptation was too high and I gave in. Yes, it was worth it. I love mexican food with all of my heart and pepperoni pizza is 2nd on my list. I was trying something out and it didn't work out. Oh well, lesson learned. Angie loves red meat.

-In March, my Research & The Environment Studio along with our semester project (with real clients) got in the way and bombarded all things beautiful and school free. It did make me really sad that my favorite resolution was now on hold -my project partner was a real Work Nazi (one time she kept me at our schools Tech building until 8:30AM on a Wednesday knowing that my Tuesdays were 8am-9:20pm). Needless to say, she and I aren't friends anymore. I tried picking up where my resolution left off in May when the semester was over but I couldn't figure out what book I wanted to read next and I have an issue with finishing books and having no follow-up.

-"Sweatshop free" shopping wasn't my biggest concern in July. I did best with this resolution considering how RIDICULOUSLY hard it is to shop for "sweatshop free" clothing. A lot of the forums and blogs that I came across recommended shopping vintage since the money used to purchase the clothing doesn't go back to the brand/company, it goes to the business -which in turn supports the local community. So, most of my shopping last semester was via vintage shops, Toms and American Apparel. It stopped in July because during my internship back home in the Rio Grande Valley (where the lows are 90s and highs are 100s) all I had were tons of old, mens button up western shirts. I needed shirts made for the summer, and I needed them fast. So, I shopped at Target and that was that. I still try shopping consciously but I'm not as tough as I used to be.

Then there was my secret resolution: To let loose and say "yes" a bit more often. To not be as uptight, and experience things. The idea came from a line in the book I was reading that said, "I found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives... Let's just live and what happens will happen." Not only did I relate to the "resist temptation= awesome will power?= alone most of the time" theory but I also felt very optimistic about "what happens will happen" .. So that was my secret resolution: to be young and let life happen.

So how did it go? Well, it wasn't entirely successful but I'm not even sure if it was supposed to be. Not all days were good (there was a Work Nazi the entire time killing my free spirit) but a lot less days were bad. It was a great year. My secret resolution with the combination of reading a lot of interesting things helped me grow beyond my expectations. I learned about Fake Love and why I'm actually never satisfied -and how that's okay as well.. and I lived vicariously through young promiscuity. Sure I didn't succeed with Red Chili Pepper pizza, but lets be real: cows have nothing on Chuck Klosterman.

hopefully, 2010 brings on another healthy serving of amazingnesstasticsauce.